Six Day Tallow
Creating as Refuge and Releasing as Resistance
I hope you are well as we ride this horrific reality. I’ve been listening to my peers and having conversations with my close ones, and the one action item that keeps coming up for me in this cold soup of options and mixed feelings about whether or not it is sensitive to be making and sharing art is that we should continue to make and share art, period.
This is not a time to neglect our calling and our pleasure. Not only because creation is a refuge and our devotion to it is an investment in our expansive human qualities but because it is a strong form of resistance against the death cult that 4meric4 is. This week, I was reminded that we will not survive without feeling, that f4cism derives its power from self-destruction, and that the time to provide direct support to the trans people in your life is not tomorrow but today. So, foster creative connections, join that band, write that book, and send coin* to a trans person now.
*If you’re in doubt about whether you’re in a place to show up for others financially, here’s a realistic guide on how to know (plus how to budget your tax return if you’re privileged to get one).
ART STUFF/
Between the insisting brain fog and hesitance to continue feeding the subst@ck monster it has become, I have spent more time grabbing books from my public library, sexting, and making art and less time thinking about coming here. Inevitably, the moment to share with you all the results of my obsessive clicks and drags and strikethroughs and uploads and renderings comes, and I find myself frustrated, regretting I’m still falling prey to the illusion of freedom these platforms sell.
BIG HOWEVER, I keep myself alive every time I stumble upon art, the way breathing does too, and I have a feeling you live to enjoy other people’s art, just like me. So, on this road that is available to us, we meet today.
If you’ve been following for a while, you may remember I mentioned a sound dress I was knitting for my spiral of sadness last July. I was heartbroken, and I invited my friends Tallow (glitterMacabre) and Ula Kinder to be a part of my life’s tragedy on vocals and medieval fiddle, respectively. My approach to creating is always to do what I can and not be frustrated with my own limitations, so my process was slow (I was getting reacquainted with guitars) and as minimal as possible: a floor tom, a hat, an electric guitar, a bass guitar, a violin here and there, four vocal tracks, an arpeggiator, and water and wind sound effects (if you don’t think this is minimal, you don’t know a music producer). After a few months of tweaking the knobs, we had a final version of the song.
We then played with the idea of a music video we had been simmering with for weeks (I had never made a music video myself before, and then this experiment by Noah Kalina gave me the push). We set a date. On a mild winter day in December, we went to Prospect Park - The goth park - in Brooklyn and shot a music video:
The second leg of the production actually took place indoors:
I then spent the end of the year slicing footage with care and excitement and the following weeks playing tetris on Resolve. My favorite part? grading color. With glitterMacabre as a collaborator, we brought the ghost of a heart in pain, like a phantom limb, into a creature with a life of its own. The creature was born to a family of visual artists, performers, singers, musicians, and filmmakers! What a lucky beast! And so now the time has come for you to meet it for its premiere at:
Videodome is a monthly open screening organized by the talented Dylan Mars Greenberg, and it serves not only as a space for videomakers and filmmakers alike to share their art but also as an ongoing fundraiser for disabled Black transwoman Christine Campbell. I would love it if you could join us for February’s Videodome on Valentine’s Eve at 7:30p. Lucky 13 Saloon is at 644 Sackett.
Worry not! If you’re not in Brooklyn or you can’t make it in person, you can always:
1) Support Christine by subscribing to her Patreon or donating to her GoFundMe.
2) Watch our music video on YouTube, which will premiere there on February 14th:
3) Purchase this song on Bandcamp and collect it on Metalabel.
Thank you for making it this far! I hope you enjoyed this peek into our world. Remember that under capitalism, artists’ work is categorized as less valuable than running tech for war. Resist this idea and support people who inspire you. Remember that:
You can support me with as little as $3/mo
or as little as $1/mo
or as seldom as a one-time donation of any amount
I appreciate you :)
My name is Ángel, and it’s pronounced in Spanish.